


Mama

by lovelarry10



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Daddy Louis, Domestic Fluff, Established Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson, Family Fluff, First night at home, Fluff, Kid Fic, M/M, Mpreg Harry, Mummy Harry, Newborn Baby, Parenthood, Post Mpreg
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-17
Updated: 2020-07-17
Packaged: 2021-03-05 01:20:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,951
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25086070
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lovelarry10/pseuds/lovelarry10
Summary: “This is it, you know?” Harry said after a moment, filling the silence once more. “This is what happiness feels like. Real happiness. Like, I’m so content I could just stay here with you two forever. I’m a husband, and a Mummy. This, right here, is everything I ever wanted. I love you, and I love Amelie more than I ever thought I could love anyone.”*****Harry and Louis bring their newborn daughter home from the hospital, and experience the first twenty four hours of parenthood.
Relationships: Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson
Comments: 54
Kudos: 230
Collections: Momrry Fic Fest 2020





	Mama

**Author's Note:**

> Based on these prompts:  
> 'lots of mommy harry with a newborn baby fluff and him being over the moon, loving his little bundle of joy and pls add a cute breastfeeding scene'  
> and  
> 'harry and his (or her or their) partner on their first night home with their newborn ft. some freaking out about being responsible for a whole human person but mostly lots of cuddles for everyone.'
> 
> Thank you to the mod for this fun fest. And thank you to my friends for their help as always. The title is taken from the Spice Girls song of the same name.
> 
> I hope you enjoy it, please leave a comment and let me know your thoughts. 
> 
> x
> 
> DISCLAIMER:  
> This is a work of fiction. All characters are of my own creation and in no way reflect the beliefs and actions of those in real life. Any sexual content is consensual and legal per the consent guidelines in the United Kingdom. Please ensure you read the tags before proceeding with this story - they are there to protect you and me. If you believe anything is in any way triggering for you, please do not continue reading.
> 
> Reposting of this work is a violation of copyright and will be reported. I also do not permit any translations of my work.

“Home sweet home,” Louis sang from the front of the car, pulling it into the driveway in front of the house that Harry and Louis had called home for four years now. Harry looked up, smiling at the sight of the bright pink balloons adorning either side of the front door. “Oh look, our mums must have been over.”

“You reckon they’re still here?” Harry asked. As much as he wanted to see them, he very much hoped they weren’t, since he felt he and Louis bringing home their daughter for the first time was a moment purely for the two of them to share. 

Louis caught Harry’s eye in the rear view mirror, shaking his head. “Nah, their cars aren’t here so probably not. I’m sort of grateful, you know?”

Harry just nodded as Louis turned off the engine, the car going quiet. Harry peered into the car seat next to him and smiled down at his sleeping newborn daughter, thankful she had slept most of the way home. She’d grizzled as they’d strapped her into her car seat in hospital, but Louis had insisted she’d be fine once they started moving, and as usual, Harry’s husband was right. 

“Is Amelie still asleep?”

“She is, got her Daddy’s love of sleeping, haven’t you, Amelie?” Harry cooed, reaching in and picking up the dummy that had fallen from her mouth. He put the cap on it and shoved it in his pocket, reaching out to open the door handle. “Can you carry the seat in? I’m still a bit sore.”

Louis nodded and Harry tenderly moved himself out of the car, careful not to overstretch himself. The birth had been more painful than Harry had ever anticipated, stretching him in places he didn’t care to think about, but looking into the face of his baby girl had made every moment of agony worth it. He walked inside taking small, tentative steps as he watched Louis hook the car seat containing their precious cargo over the crook of his elbow, looking ridiculously handsome as he did so.

“I can’t believe how much these things weigh, especially since she’s so tiny!” Louis quipped, nodding happily at their neighbour who had stepped out of her front door. “Good morning, Mrs Llewellyn!”

“Oh, good morning dears … you’ve had your bundle of joy, I see …”

The old woman tottered near and Harry plastered a smile on his face, willing this moment to go quickly. He just wanted to get indoors and rest with his baby girl in his arms, but he couldn’t be rude. Their neighbour had been too kind for him to ever brush her off. He stood to the side and watched as she peeked inside, gasping as she laid eyes on Amelie.

“Well, she’s beautiful, as I knew she would be, congratulations! How are you, Harry? You look wonderful, I must say.”

“Oh, you’re too kind,” Harry chuckled as Louis wrapped an arm around his waist, gently tugging him into his side. Harry went easily, always happy to let Louis guide him. “I’m fine, a little sore, but nothing that won’t heal. She makes it all worth it, anyway.”

“I’m sure she does,” Mrs Llewellyn nodded. “I’ll let you three get inside, but perhaps I could pop by for a visit in a few days, when you’ve had a chance to settle.”

“We’d love that,” Louis grinned, waving her off. “Sorry about that, love. I guess everyone in the street is going to be excited to meet her, they’ve all been so nice about your pregnancy.”

Harry stood back as Louis opened the front door, and together, the three Tomlinsons walked inside as a family for the first time. They had left home together late Tuesday night when Harry had been unable to put up with the pain of his contractions any longer, and Amelie had made her entrance into the world a very long eighteen hours later, Harry exhausted but beyond happy. The midwives had kept them both in hospital until Thursday morning, when they’d finally been given the go ahead to leave after doctors’ rounds. An hour after the doctor’s visit, Louis had proudly strutted out of the hospital, car seat in his hand, and a wobbly Harry by his side, the pair elated to finally be getting home as a family.

There were banners and balloons all over the sitting room, as well as a bevy of cards and presents piled on the coffee table, but Harry ignored it all in favour of gingerly lowering himself down onto the sofa, letting out a sigh of relief once the weight was off his feet. He pulled his jumper away from his body where it was clinging to his now empty bump. It felt strange to reach down and touch his belly, knowing it wasn’t the home for their baby anymore, and Harry knew it would take a bit of getting used to, especially until the roundness started to go down a little.

“Hey, you look gorgeous, baby. You want Amelie?”

“Please,” Harry nodded, watching as Louis expertly unclipped their little girl, gently picking her up and holding her against his chest for a minute.

“Want to go to Mummy?” Louis asked, and Harry flushed at the term. It had taken him weeks to work up the courage to tell Louis he wanted to be called Mummy once their baby had been born. It was something he’d always dreamed of when he was a child; meeting the man he loved, marrying him and finally starting a family together, with himself as Mummy, the nurturer, the one who was there for every step of their lives. He’d cried too many tears, embarrassed to admit to his dream but Louis had been as accepting as always, telling Harry it sounded wonderful, and presenting him with a ‘mummy to be’ card on Harry’s twenty-seventh birthday two months ago. More tears had been shed by Harry, but they were most definitely the happy kind.

_Five months ago_

_“Do you… not like it?” Louis asked, holding up the little ‘Daddy’s Little Star’ babygro their mums had gifted Harry. They’d just got back from their twenty week scan to find a parcel in their front room from their parents, and had eagerly opened it to find a plethora of baby clothes. There had been two parcels, one for each parent-to-be, and they’d ripped open the tissue eagerly to find a different slogan onesie for each of them; Daddy’s Little Star for Harry, and ‘My Daddy Loves Me’ for Louis._

_Harry had tried to plaster a smile on his face, to pretend that he loved it when he’d held it up, but as always, Louis had seen straight through the facade, setting down his own present to take Harry’s hand, his brow furrowed in concern._

_“Talk to me, Harry.”_

_“I …” Harry swallowed, the lump in his throat growing with every second. It was something he’d kept to himself for too long now, and admitting felt big … almost too big to ponder over. But this was Louis. Louis, the best person Harry knew. His lover, his husband, his best friend. If Harry could tell anyone, it was Louis. “I do like it, I just …”_

_“You just what?” Louis prompted gently when Harry didn’t say anything further for a few seconds, playing with Louis’ fingers. “Harry … you’re scaring me.”_

_Harry’s eyes widened as he realised why Louis might be scared. “No. No, Louis. You know I want this baby more than anything. I love them already, and I love being pregnant.” He cradled his bump with his hand, smiling when Louis placed his own hand on top of Harry’s. “It’s just … it’s something I’ve been thinking about since … well, since I was young, I suppose. But being pregnant now has made me think about it all again.”_

_Louis nodded. “Okay. You know you can tell me anything, yeah?”_

_Harry laced his fingers with Louis’, squeezing gently. “I do.” He took a deep breath, exhaling slowly as he figured out in his head how to word what it was he wanted to say. “I never really think of myself as a Daddy.”_

_“Well, you’ll feel differently when our baby is here-”_

_“No, Louis,” Harry interrupted, sighing in frustration. “Let me finish, please? So … I never think of myself as a Daddy. When I think about myself and our baby, I … I feel like a Mummy. That’s who I want to be. Mummy.” He felt the tears start to fall at his confession, sure Louis would be horrified by what he wanted. It wasn’t exactly normal, for a man to want to be Mummy, but it was all Harry had ever wanted. “I know it sounds stupid, and I can’t even explain it, I just-”_

_“Then you’ll be her Mummy,” Louis smiled, his eyes shining as he brought a hand up cupping Harry’s cheek. “Or his Mummy. I still can’t decide which we’re having. But all I know, love, is that our baby is going to be so lucky to have you as their Mummy. And I love you even more for telling me what you want.”_

_Harry blinked, swiping away his tears with the edge of his jumper sleeve, not caring it was getting soggier by the second. “You don’t think I’m weird?”_

_Louis shook his head, bringing Harry in for a gentle kiss. “Definitely not. It suits you, you know. Mummy, I mean. And I kinda like the sound of Mummy and Daddy. That’s us. We’re a family, Haz.”_

_Harry grinned, rubbing his bump as the baby inside wriggled around a little, letting him know they were there. “We are. I love you so much, Lou.”_

_“Love you too, Mummy,” his husband replied, Harry feeling the love come off him in waves. He’d never felt luckier._

Harry opened his arms and Louis laid their little girl gently into them, smiling down as Harry got himself comfortable, making sure Amelie’s head was supported. “She’s so tiny, Lou. Unbelievable, really.”

At that, Amelie started to cry, her tiny little lungs helping her produce a sound that was much louder than Harry thought possible from one so small. He shushed her, trying to rock her and jiggle her but nothing seemed to help. Her little face was getting redder and redder, and Harry looked up at Louis, pleading with him to help.

“Maybe she wants a feed?” Louis suggested. “Damn, I left the bag in the car. I’ll be back in a tick.”

“No, Louis, I-” 

Harry sighed as Louis disappeared and he heard the front door open, leaving him alone with a screaming baby. Harry had wanted to try breast-feeding and while his attempts at the hospital had been pretty fruitless, it wasn’t something he was about to give up on at the first hurdle. The front door closed again, and Harry called out. “Louis, take her please.”

“Why? What’s wrong?”

“Nothing, I just want to try feeding her again, and I need to get this jumper off first.”

Louis nodded and picked up their daughter, swaying her side to side and staring at her with utter love as Harry tugged his jumper over his head, trying to ignore his belly as he did so. He could feel Louis’ eyes boring into him as he did so, but he settled back down, pulling over a cushion to support his elbow on.

“Okay, I’m ready.” He took Amelie again and got her into position, Louis aiding as much as he could. Harry really appreciated how Louis wasn’t taking over, but being the supportive husband he’d been throughout the birth. Harry felt like the luckiest man in the world to have Louis by his side. “Louis, I can’t do this, she won’t…”

“Harry, she’s brand new, love. Give her a minute to try, okay? I can make up a bottle if needs be, but let’s give her a bit of time to try.”

Harry nodded, shuddering as Louis’ hand helped guide his nipple into Amelie’s mouth. The baby was still screaming, but Louis coaxed her quietly, sitting close to Harry for support that he very much needed. Harry shivered at the touch of Louis’ hand on his body, but he ignored those feelings as he watched Amelie start to open her mouth, struggling to latch on for a moment until finally, she formed a seal around Harry’s nipple with her tiny lips.

“Oh god, she’s doing it, Lou, she’s latched on!”

“Told you,” Louis smiled, looking down in awe at his daughter hungrily feeding from her mum. “Wow, that’s amazing. How does it feel?”

“If I’m honest, weird?” Harry replied, staring at where Amelie’s lips were wrapped around his nipple. “Like … it feels so strange, but it’s … it’s amazing, Lou. I’m feeding our baby. I’m doing it.”

“You really are. I’m so proud of you, Haz. You okay for a minute? I just want to put some stuff away, get the bottle warmer set up just in case we need it, and we need to unbox the breast pump as well. I’ll be around …”

“It’s fine, Lou, I think I’ll be here for a while. Could I be cheeky and ask for a cup of tea?”

“You just gave birth to my daughter, Harry, I think you can ask for just about anything you want right now.” Louis leaned down and pressed his lips to Harry’s before he did the same to his newborn daughter’s head. “Hard to believe she’s all ours, huh? We actually have a baby now.”

Harry just smiled and nodded, too enamoured by the site of Amelie feeding to really pay Louis’ statement much attention. He reached his right hand over and gently pulled off the little pink hat Louis had put on her before they’d left the hospital, admiring the dark hair matted to her head. He stroked over it softly, unable to almost believe how soft she was, how tiny her head looked in the palm of his hand. Amelie was all he’d wanted for so long, and now she was here, it was like every dream Harry had ever had had come true for him. 

After a while, Amelie had seemingly fallen asleep, so Harry carefully pulled her away, wincing as the cool air of the room hit his bare chest. He felt somewhat drained on that side now, but with clumsy hands, he lifted her sleeping form against his chest, rubbing in small circles on her back.

“Need a hand?” Louis asked, but Harry just shook his head.

“Mummy’s got this,” he proudly said, as Louis set down a steaming mug of tea on the table. “I don’t know how much she took, Lou.”

“Well, she’ll wake up when she’s hungry. Remember, the midwife said to just feed as much as she wants to at the moment, we have to play it by ear. She’s coming to check you both in a couple of days, so we can ask her then if you’re worried. Let me take her, you need a drink if you’re feeding her too.”

Harry handed over Amelie to Louis, who walked over to where they’d set up the Moses basket in the corner of the room, just a few days before Harry had gone into labour. He sipped on the sweet tea, not realising how thirsty he was until he was drinking it all down. He picked up the stack of envelopes as Louis curled up next to him, resting a head on his shoulder.

“Shall we open some of these? Might be nice to put some around the room,” Harry stated, and Louis nodded, taking a few envelopes from the top of the pile. They opened them together, discarding envelopes onto a pile for recycling, grinning at the lovely messages and gift vouchers inside. The final one was a soft pink envelope, and Harry recognised the writing. “Oh, Louis …”

“Just open it,” Louis said softly, turning his body so he was facing Harry, watching intently as his husband slid his finger into the flap of the envelope, popping it open.

Harry felt his eyes burn with tears as he slid out the card, smiling at the ‘ _On the Birth of our Daughter_ ’ emblazoned on the front. He opened it and saw Louis’ little essay, taking his time in reading the words his husband had written with such love inside. By the time he’d read the final words, Harry was full on crying again, and barely had time to drop the card into his lap before he was in Louis’ arms, weeping against his chest.

“I love you so much, I love you.”

“I love you too, thank you for making me a dad, for giving us Amelie. You’ve been amazing Harry, and I just need you to know how much I love you and how happy you make me. You’re already an amazing Mummy and you’ve only been doing it a few hours. Come here.” Louis carefully wiped the pads of his thumbs under Harry’s eyes, trying fruitlessly to mop up some of his tears. “You’re beautiful even when you cry, do you know that?”

“I’m red and blotchy,” Harry sniffed, denying Louis’ claims. He definitely didn’t feel beautiful at the moment, and he felt slightly sure his chest was leaking on the other side where Amelie hadn’t fed, not that he could admit that and ruin the emotional moment they were sharing. “I miss her. She’s only over there, and I miss her, Lou. I’m ridiculous.”

“You’re not, you’re a new mummy. It’s allowed.” Louis paused, pecking Harry’s lips as he pulled away from his husband. “Listen. Have a nap here. I can tidy up, make some calls, Mum and Anne have been texting me. You need to rest when she does. You only gave birth a few hours ago.”

Harry didn’t even bother to argue. He let Louis scoop up his legs and lay them on the sofa. A blanket was soon draped over his body, and it was seconds before he fell into a deep and much needed sleep.

******

“Harry! Harry, wake up, she’s screaming and she’s pooed everywhere!”

“What? Oh god …” Harry winced as he sat up, his nose immediately wrinkling at the smell coming off of his daughter. “What the heck?”

“You heard me, I’m sure you can smell it! Will you help me?”

Harry nodded and carefully knelt down next to Louis, looking down at where Amelie was laid on her changing mat, screaming her head off. She didn’t look very happy, and Louis had laid a bevy of equipment on the floor around them, seemingly ready for a round of nappy changes, not just one. Harry smiled to himself at the sight, ignoring a flustered looking Louis for a brief second.

“Come prepared, love?”

“Oh, ha ha, Harry, let’s get her out of this before she gets sore. I’ll take it off, you hold the nappy sack open.”

“Right. I’m ready,” Harry said, opening up the little plastic sack. He watched as Louis opened the tabs of the disposable nappy, cringing as Louis opened it, unveiling the mess inside. “Jesus, how can someone so pretty make such a mess?!”

Louis held her ankles between his fingers as he started attacking her with wipes, carefully cleaning her up. It took almost half a packet of baby wipes, but they worked together, making sure every nook and cranny was squeaky clean before Louis grabbed the Sudocrem, covering Amelie in it. Harry just knelt beside his daughter, making faces and trying to shush Amelie, but she wasn’t having it.

“Right, she’s clean. I’ve got a nappy but we put the bigger ones in the bag, I need to run upstairs and get the smaller ones …”

“Go,” Harry nodded, picking up his naked daughter, cupping her against his body. “Alright lovely, Mummy’s got you, come on, don’t worry, and please don’t pee on me.”

Louis luckily returned in just a few seconds, and Harry made quick work of putting a nappy and clean lilac vest on her, Amelie still screaming her head off as Louis laid out a clean babygro, waiting for Harry to lay her on it. 

“Oh god, why won’t she stop screaming?” Louis asked as he helped Harry manoeuvre her flailing limbs into her unicorn patterned baby gro, looking tired himself now. “You going to try and feed her again?”

“I can try,” Harry said, feeling his stress levels start to rise. It seemed an empty tummy was the source of Amelie’s upset, because she latched on quickly, silence filling the house once more. It was peaceful in the house again, and Louis fell asleep in the armchair as Harry fed her from the other side of his chest, watching the muted television on the opposite side of the room, needing something to keep him awake. 

When Amelie was done and finally asleep, Harry crept upstairs and laid Amelie in the second Moses Basket they had for upstairs, a gift from Louis’ work colleagues, shutting the blinds so she could get some rest. Harry and Louis had spent ages decorating her room in a soft shade of grey with purple and pink accents everywhere, the white wooden furniture looking clean and fresh around the room. Harry was proud of it, and he laid a few blankets over his daughter before he left the room, making sure to flick on the new baby monitors before he did so.

While Louis slept, Harry had a quick shower, wanting to wash the smell and feel of the hospital away from his skin. He let the warm water cascade over his body, rubbing his tender chest gently with his hands, ignoring the saggy pooch of his empty tummy as he cleaned himself. It felt good to be clean, and Harry took advantage of the quiet time to just close his eyes and enjoy the sensation of the hot water soothing his aching body. He only got out when the water began to cool down, and he was just stepping out of the shower when Louis walked into the bathroom, rubbing tiredly at his eyes.

“Louis!” Harry blurted out in shock, hurrying to hold up a towel against his body, feeling very exposed. He still hadn’t come to terms with the look of his post-pregnancy body, but he still allowed Louis to come over and hold him in a tight hug. “Baby, you okay?”

“Just … a bit overwhelmed, maybe?” Louis confessed quietly, resting his forehead against Harry’s wet chest. “It’s stupid because we’ve known for like eight months we were going to have a baby but it just … I woke up downstairs and saw all her stuff laying around and it hit me, you know? We’re responsible for her, forever. Like … she needs us, Harry.”

“I know, love,” Harry said, stroking Louis’ back much as he had done with their daughter just a few moments ago. “It’s a lot, isn’t it? But we’ve got each other. We’ve got amazing families who will help out if we need it, I think-”

Louis’ eyes widened and he shook his head, stepping back from Harry, his palms now pressed against Harry’s chest. Harry could almost feel the stress radiating from his husband. “No, but seriously, Harry! She needs us for _everything_! She can’t even hold her own head up, she can’t do a damn thing without us, what if we can’t do it, what if-”

“Louis.” Harry’s voice was low and assertive, even if he didn’t feel particularly authoritative standing there in their bathroom wearing nothing, with only a small towel covering his modesty. “Love, you need to chill out. We’re fine, and we’re going to be fine. Amelie is fine. She’s asleep, we’ve managed like … nearly twenty four hours as parents, yeah? That’s a good thing, babe. You just need to trust that we can do this. You’re a great daddy already, and I don’t completely suck at being a mummy-”

Louis scoffed at that, but Harry ploughed on, ignoring his husband. 

“Please don’t worry. Please. We’ve wanted her for so long, and now she’s here, we just need to enjoy her. I’m also quite chilly, so if you don’t mind, I’d really like to get some clothes on so I can feel a bit more human before I have to be a human cow again.”

“You’re a pretty good motivational speaker, you know,” Louis smiled, pushing onto his tiptoes to kiss Harry. His hands made their way to Harry’s love handles, fingertips trailing across his belly, and Harry fought to not push Louis away. “You’re beautiful. Please don’t hide yourself. Your tummy was Amelie’s home for so long, and I love it, like I love every inch of you.”

They kissed softly for a few minutes, only breaking apart when Harry heard weak cries coming from the nursery again. He sighed, but this time, it was Louis taking charge.

“Go and get dressed. I’ll check on her. Maybe she needs a bum change again.”

Harry did as he was told, smiling as he heard Louis’ soft voice singing to their daughter through the baby monitor as he put on some of his maternity clothes. He chose his favourite “Because I’m the Mom, that’s why!” t-shirt that Gemma had jokingly got him for his birthday, not realising how much it had meant to Harry. He smoothed the soft cream cotton over his swollen but now empty stomach, combing through his hair before he joined Louis, his heart melting at the sight that greeted him.

Amelie was against Louis’ bare chest now, Louis’ t-shirt in a puddle on the floor as he sat in the rocking chair they’d spent far too much money on, quietly singing lullabies to the little girl. 

“I’m gonna pump, I’d like you to be able to feed her,” Harry said quietly, and Louis just nodded, not breaking the rhythm of his song at all. Amelie looked even smaller when she positioned like that on her daddy, knees pulled almost up to her chest and Harry couldn’t help himself when he grabbed Louis’ phone from the floor, taking a picture before he left the room, seeking out the breast pump their mums had bought for him. 

He’d read the instructions before Amelie had been born, so he had an idea what he was doing, but he wasn’t prepared for the sensations as the machine began sucking at his already tender nipple, filling the bottle attached with his milk. Louis walked in after a while with Amelie sucking frantically on her dummy, smiling at the sight of Harry. He wasn’t bothered at Louis seeing him like this at all, in fact, he knew his husband was proud of him for wanting to breastfeed, although by the same token, he knew Louis wouldn’t have judged at all had he chosen to bottle feed from the moment she was born. Louis was just wonderful like that, one of the least judgmental people Harry had ever met, and Harry felt so lucky to call Louis his.

“I think this bottle has enough for her for now,” Harry said, screwing the teat onto the bottle, shaking it slightly. “Give it a go, if she doesn’t take to it, I haven’t pumped loads from the left side yet so she can feed there if she has to.”

“God, I’m nervous,” Louis chuckled as he settled into the corner of the sofa, supporting his elbow on a cushion. “Sounds so stupid when I’ve done all this with both sets of twins so many times …”

“But she’s your daughter, Lou,” Harry grinned over to his husband, loving how Louis nodded proudly at that. “You’ll be fine, love. Go on.”

“Stop watching me! You’ll give me performance anxiety,” Louis quipped, making Harry laugh. Amelie opened her eyes and looked up at her daddy as Louis rubbed the milky teat across her lips. “She’s not taking it, Haz …”

Harry released the breast pump from his chest and left it on the table, eyes still on Amelie and Louis. He sat down next to Louis, holding his daughter’s foot gently as he coached Louis, watching as finally, Amelie opened her mouth and Louis pushed the teat inside, holding it steady while Amelie found out how to drink.

“Oh wow. Wow. Harry … look! Showing Mummy and Daddy what a clever girl you are, hmmm?”

Harry reached for a muslin as a trickle of milk slipped out of the side of Amelie’s mouth, joining a growing wet patch on her baby gro. Harry knew he’d end up putting her in something clean afterwards, it now dawning on him just how much work a newborn was going to be. When Louis seemed happy enough feeding her, Harry curled up on the opposite side of the sofa, tucking his feet under Louis’ thighs to keep his toes warm. 

“I’ve only been a mummy for a few hours but I love it already,” Harry confessed, the room getting a little dimmer since the evening was approaching. “I know I’ve banged on about having kids for years, but in a way, I’m glad it’s happened now. We’re settled, we’ve got a nice home, we’ve got good jobs … we can provide for her, you know?”

“I do, I know what you mean,” Louis agreed, his eyes never leaving his daughter. “It feels good that we’re in a place to give her everything she needs. I’ll always be sad that we lost our first baby, but it means in a way that Amelie was meant to be here right now, you know? We were so young back then. Now … despite my little freak out from earlier, I think we’ll be okay. You, me and Amelie.”

Harry nodded, tears dancing in his eyes at the memories. He’d only been eighteen when he’d miscarried their first baby, just five weeks pregnant but already excited at the idea of being a parent with Louis. They’d barely had but a few days to get used to the fact they were having a baby when it all ended as quickly as it had begun, the blood in Harry’s underwear telling him it was all over. They’d both cried, but had decided that for now, they had to be sensible, which meant graduating before they tried again for more babies. That had turned into almost nine years, but when Harry had finally gotten a positive pregnancy test, something about it just felt right, like it was meant to be. Now, they always lit a candle in their sitting room on the day they lost their first baby and spent the time together cuddling, thinking but not dwelling on what could have been. 

“I think so, too,” Harry whispered, rubbing Louis’ bicep with his hand. He sniffed and wiped his eyes, his emotions still all over the place at the moment. “Is she done, do you think?”

Louis pondered it for a moment, dragging the teat out of his daughter’s mouth carefully, the baby not objecting at all. Amelie looked almost asleep, and Harry laughed with how much she looked like Louis when he’d had a few beers on a night out. “I reckon so. You want to wind her?”

Harry nodded, taking their daughter from Louis’ arms and sitting her little bottom on his thigh, supporting her head and neck with one hand. “Christ, she’s so fragile like this,” Harry muttered, patting her back gently, watching the bob of her head as he did so. “I’m glad she fed from the bottle.”

“Me too. As pleased as I was when you said you wanted to breastfeed, and I still am, don’t get me wrong, I was a little worried I wouldn’t get to be part of that.”

“You should’ve told me!” Harry said, eyes flitting up to rest on his husband’s. “I had no idea you felt that way, Lou.”

“It wasn’t my place to say that stuff,” Louis shrugged, sliding a finger into Amelie’s little palm, letting her clasp onto it. “I wanted whatever you wanted. Just like with the whole you wanting to be Mummy thing, it made you happy, so I’m happy with it. I love you, and I’d do anything for your happiness.”

“Not at the expense of yours, though,” Harry said, satisfied Amelie had burped enough she was comfortable. He reached down and felt her nappy, pleased she seemed dry enough he didn’t have to wake her again. “I know it’s early, but do you want to go upstairs to bed? She’ll probably have us up most of the night, so we should rest while we can. Plus you know our mums will be round in the morning to meet Amelie again.”

“Yeah, okay,” Louis said, getting to his feet. “Do you want a cuppa? I can bring one up.”

“Please,” Harry nodded, holding Amelie tightly as he stood up. “Bring some crisps and stuff as well? I don’t want dinner, but I’m peckish.”

“Will do. Love you,” Louis called as Harry made his way upstairs, taking the stairs slowly but surely. He knew Louis would bring the moses basket into their bedroom when he got upstairs, so for now, Harry laid Amelie down in the middle of his and Louis’ bed, looking down on her with such love in his eyes, he thought he might burst with how strongly he felt for her.

“Hello, beautiful,” he said quietly, even though he knew she was sound asleep judging by how her eyes were fluttering slightly. Her eyelashes were gorgeous, already so long, and they reminded Harry so much of Louis’ he just had to reach out and touch them, his hand almost shaking. “I can’t believe we made you, that you’re here. You’ve made me a Mummy, do you know how happy that makes me? Happier than I’ve ever been. My little Amelie Rose. Mummy’s little girl.”

Harry reached out, resting a hand on her tiny tummy, marvelling at just how small she was. Her little pink lips were dry and moved slightly as she breathed, her tiny thin eyelids flickering as she lost herself in whatever was going on in her brand new mind. Harry’s mind boggled sometimes at the fact he and Louis had created life together, and he stayed silent, just staring at her until the door creaked open, Louis nudging it open further with his toe. He whispered as he crept inside.

“She still asleep?”

Harry nodded, sitting up to accept the large mug of tea Louis handed him. He sipped it cautiously for a moment, their little girl between them as this time, Louis settled down, leaving a couple of biscuits next to his tea while Harry took a bite of his, his belly now hungry. He’d been forced to eat a couple of slices of toast at the hospital before they’d left, the midwives not letting them go home until he had, but other than that, he’d not eaten all day. He knew that for his milk to keep coming through, he had to keep himself hydrated and fed, so he forced a few mouthfuls down, knowing it was for his own good, and for Amelie’s too. 

“She’s so beautiful, Haz,” Louis said, a similar look of marvel in his eyes now. “Sometimes … like when we got the negative results, I never thought we’d get here. That we’d actually have a family. But now we do, and I’m so happy. Like, I thought I was happy when we got married, then found out Amelie was coming but now … it’s a whole new level of happiness, isn’t it? Being a mummy and daddy?”

Harry blushed, nodding as Louis referred to him yet again by that name. It had been a conscious thing in Harry’s mind for the longest time, and now being able to use that moniker in reference to himself felt like his world was finally complete. He leaned over, brushing his lips against Louis’ briefly, before he leaned in and did the same to Amelie. 

“It’s a lot, though, isn’t it?” Harry whispered, not wanting to wake her from her slumber. Everybody knew you didn’t wake a sleeping baby, even clueless new parents like Louis and Harry. “Having a new baby, I mean.”

“In what way?” Louis asked, sitting up too now, sipping his tea as he looked at Harry over the rim, Amelie quietly snuffling between them. “Hey, you can be honest with me, love, you know that. Chances are, I’m probably thinking the same things as you.”

Harry sighed, hoping he didn’t sound at all ungrateful about his baby girl, not meaning that to be the case at all. “Like … being responsible for her. You touched on it earlier. I’ve always wanted babies with you, to be a mummy. And I love it already, I do. I’m just … I’m scared of fu- screwing it up. Of doing the wrong thing, or hurting her, or-”

“Stop it,” Louis said, putting his finger to Harry’s lips, shushing him. “You’re a wonderful Mummy already, trust me. If anyone’s going to screw up, you know it’ll be me. But you know what? We love her, and that’s all that matters. We’ll do things wrong, we’re human. But we’re all she has, and we’ll take care of her, and love her, and do everything we can for her.”

As if she sensed her parents were talking about her, Amelie started to whimper, drawing up her little knees to her chest, and Harry already knew what that meant. They’d talked about it in their antenatal class, and he knew Jay had gone through this with Ernest too, accompanying her on many trips to the doctor, keeping a baby Doris entertained while Jay had spoken about Ernest. 

“Oh, it’s wind,” Harry said, quickly setting down his tea and scooping up his daughter. He laid her against his chest and started rubbing her back in circles, alternating with a gentle pat as she kept whimpering, her tiny body tense under his hands. Louis couldn’t do much to help, but his presence was enough support for Harry, who felt relieved when just ten minutes later, she let out a series of small burps, releasing the wind that had been troubling her.

“I’m going to get in the shower if you two are alright for a minute,” Louis said, and Harry just nodded, passing Louis his daughter for a minute. “Going to keep Mummy company while Daddy makes himself smell nice, hmm? Just you and me against the world, little love.”

Harry’s heart swooned as he watched Louis’ gentle hands holding their daughter, cradling her against his chest. It was a sight he’d always wanted to see, sure it would be the best thing in the world, and he was right. Louis had always been an amazing big brother to his many younger siblings, and now Harry had the privilege of watching him become a parent to their own baby girl. Louis leaned in, gently kissing the top of Amelie’s head before he passed her back to Harry, who really didn’t want to put her down again.

“Think she’ll stay with Mummy for a bit,” he admitted to Louis, who just grinned, bending down to brush his lips against Harry’s. “Want a minute with my girl. Don't’ be too long?”

“I won’t”, Louis called as he disappeared out of the room and into the bathroom, the sound of the shower soon filtering through. Harry settled back on their large bed, reaching with one hand for his phone. He angled the camera so he could take a selfie of himself and his baby, looking absolutely knackered in the resulting image but beyond happy. He quickly attached it to a message to both Jay and Anne, captioning it with “Mummy and daughter” along with a string of pink hearts.

“You have no idea how happy you’ve made me,” Harry started, feeling emotional as he allowed himself to finally let go a little, feeling relaxed for the first time since they’d come back from hospital as a family of three. “I’m so scared me and your daddy are going to make mistakes, but I can promise you that we’re going to love you so much, and we’re going to try our best to be the best Mummy and Daddy we can be.”

Of course, Amelie didn’t answer, but her little fist grabbed at Harry’s shirt, so he pulled it gently away, replacing it with his finger, smiling when she clutched on, her fingernails tinier than Harry thought possible. “I spent ages thinking about you when I was pregnant,” he carried on, his hand circling over Amelie’s little back, loving the soft weight of her against his chest. “Wondering what you’ll be … what you’ll do with your life. I know some people hope their kids will turn out to be doctors, or lawyers, or something that will change the world. But …” Harry felt his eyes prickle with tears again, his hormones sending his emotions all over the place. “I just want you to be happy. That’s all I want. To wake up every day with you and your daddy, for us to be a family, and to love each other.”

Amelie snuffled, her head rocking from side to side until she settled again, her tiny fingers sticking out of the sleeves of her baby gro. Harry reached down, carefully feeling her forehead to make sure she wasn’t too warm, pulling their bed sheet over her body to keep her cosy. 

“Daddy thinks you’ll like football,” Harry said, propping his head up on his palm as he trailed a finger over the back of her little hand, speaking softly so he didn’t disturb her. “When you were in my tummy, he used to talk to you about all the matches when he watched Match of the Day. I had to sit and listen to that for hours,” Harry chuckled, shaking his head at the memories. “That’s love for you. I think he hoped you’d come out knowing all there is to know. But you never know, you might be like me and not have a clue about footie. I really don’t think Daddy will mind, though, not really.”

The shower shut off then, and Harry sat up for a moment, flicking the bedside lamps on so Louis could turn off the overhead light when he came back in. Harry looked down at his own joggers and t-shirt, and decided to stay as he was, too tired now to get up and change again. It had been a whirlwind of a day, and the exhaustion was starting to creep into his bones.

“You need anything, babe?” Louis asked, walking into the room and rubbing his hair with a towel, just a pair of tight blue boxers covering his modesty. In the years they’d been married, Louis’ body had never changed. He remained permanently golden skinned, although Harry still didn’t understand how, given they lived in rainy Manchester, curvy with muscles that Harry envied. Harry, on the other hand, felt like everything had changed about himself, and only his love for Louis remained unchanged. “Harry?”

“Sorry. So tired I can hardly think straight. I’m alright, actually. Come and lay with us, please? And the light off, don’t want it to wake her up.”

“I’m coming,” Louis smiled, chucking his towel on the floor as he flicked off the light and stepped over to the bed, crouching down and resting a hand on Amelie’s leg. “Think she wore herself today?”

“Well, it’s a big deal, first day in the world,” Harry replied softly, his heart melting as Louis tenderly stroked their daughter, the little girl they’d created together through love.

Louis stood up and walked around the bed, climbing on behind Harry and curling up against him, as they typically did when they fell asleep. Harry relished the closeness with his husband, and fought off the urge to flinch when Louis laid his hand on Harry’s tummy, kissing the back of his neck.

“You happy, love?”

“Happier than I ever thought I could be,” Harry whispered in reply, eyes still locked on their sleeping baby girl. He reached out with a finger and tenderly ran it over her little pink lips, smiling to himself when she pouted at the touch, her tiny eyelids fluttering. She balled up her hands into little fists, and Harry just watched, wondering if she was going to wake up again. “Still feels surreal in a way. Just a few days ago, it was just us two. And now we’re three.”

Louis nodded behind him, and Harry shivered, feeling Louis’ warm breath on his neck. “God, I just love her so much already, you know? I loved her when she was in your tummy, but now she’s here. I want to protect her, and watch her grow up, and spend every single minute of every day with her. It already hurts thinking that I have to go back to work in a few weeks.”

Harry rolled slightly, careful of Amelie, but he kissed Louis’ lips softly, staring up at his beautiful husband. “Don’t think about it. Let’s just enjoy this time together. We’ve got everything we wanted, Lou.”

“We do. A great marriage, best husband ever, and now the cutest daughter in the world. I want to hold her. I mean, I won’t, she looks so comfy there, but I just want to hold her and kiss her little face.”

Harry laughed, and they watched intently as Amelie snuffled, her little leg kicking out for a second before she settled again, totally unaware of the two pairs of eyes following her every breath, her every move. 

“This is it, you know?” Harry said after a moment, filling the silence once more. “This is what happiness feels like. Real happiness. Like, I’m so content I could just stay here with you two forever. I’m a husband, and a Mummy. This, right here, is everything I ever wanted. I love you, and I love Amelie more than I ever thought I could love anyone.”

Harry meant every word. Yes, he was sore in places he really didn’t want to contemplate, and he was tired to the bone, so much so that his eyes were aching with the effort of keeping them open, but Harry could honestly say he was happier than he had felt before. He had everything he ever needed, and the icing on the cake was being Amelie’s mummy. 

“We should get some sleep,” Louis said, reaching behind him and turning off his lamp. “She’ll be up soon enough for a feed, which means we will be. I’ll put her in her Moses basket …”

“No, let me?” Harry said, and Louis nodded, rolling out of the way so Harry could get up, rounding the bed quickly before he scooped up his daughter, holding her again. He kissed her head, whispering words of love to her before he finally laid her in the basket, covering her in a few layers of soft pink blankets. He tucked them in, making sure she was comfortable, unable to stop himself staring at her.

It seemed Louis felt the same, as just moments later, he came up behind Harry, resting a hand on Harry’s waist as they both looked down at their sleeping baby girl, Harry’s dopey smile of happiness echoed on Louis’ face. 

“Come on, Mummy, time for bed,” Louis whispered, reaching down and taking Harry’s hand, pulling him in the direction of their bed. Harry went reluctantly, just wanting to stare at Amelie until he fell asleep. 

“Night, love,” Louis mumbled as he curled up behind Harry. 

“Night,” Harry yawned, finally letting his eyes fall shut, the last image in his mind that of his beautiful, sleeping daughter. 


End file.
